Be clear

 

坦白说,我觉得自己是个聪明的女生,也是个有想法的女生,也许是这样,会让很多人觉得我是个自以为是的人。可是我从来都不是自以为是的人,我也不知道为什么自己会被这样认为。我只是想好好的做自己喜欢的事情,然后表达自己的想法,仅此而已。

又一次是因为兼职的事情闹不愉快了,我也再一次感受到了彼此不够了解所带来的误解了。两个人的相处真的不是整天的我爱你就可以维持的了一辈子的,即使深爱,也会被日积月累的争吵打败。我怕,我怕陪自己到最后的人并不是自己最爱的人。

还记得万圣节那天,舍友去了那里做兼职,她怕晚上回来的时候太晚了,一个人害怕,就想我们陪她去,于是,那天我们宿舍4个人都陪她去了,很有意义啊,自己第一次过了万圣节,也和那里的外教交流了一下,感觉超级棒的。所以那天,师姐问我想不想去试试当助教的时候,我才答应的那么快,因为我希望可以有那么个机会,可以多和外国人交流,我想做些有意义的事情,

即使这是无薪劳动。老公的反应那么大,是害怕我被骗,然而他不知道我也害怕被骗,所以做很多事情我都会让自己有所了解,要是以前不是,那么至少我现在会这么想了。我觉得自己长大了,很多事情都在为未来考虑,我不是贪小便宜的女生,我也不是爱钱的女生,我不想下次再因为兼职这种事情吵架了,任何的感情都不能经受在同一个问题上的反复争吵吧。

我想我自己也做错了,因为我没有和老公说过,所以他才会反对的。与其让我开口讲原因,不如他自己深呼一口气对吧。自己确实不对啦,我先道歉了。也许经过了一段孤独的时光,我已经习惯了自己和自己讲话,把要说的、想说的都对自己说,每天洗澡的时候就会说好多啦。我也不知道为什么,总是改不了。这不是我为自己找的借口,我确实是这样的。即时现在不孤独了,习惯却依然存在。

我希望自己可以得到多些肯定,而不是嘲笑我笨,其实我没有表面上看去的简单,有的却有很多人都想象不到的心思。哈哈,晚安!

 

GOODBYE TO PASS

I suddenly want to write passage when i am taking a shower.Maybe i always think a lot of terrible things which seems  have no bussiness on me.But i just like to draw attention to it.All of the things which makes me upset are i can not persude my own to accepy something.Although  it has been gone,i don’t really accepy it at all.Exactly,i would like to someone’s background like a pure paper.This is a so stupid idea.However, i got it. And the idea was so deep in my brain.  How terrible. Why do i have to mind it so much? Why i always make such the sum of bitch thing disturb myself? If i didn’t think about anyone who i don’t want to somebody remind me of,i would be happier and kind than now.Three years ago,i broke up with my best  forever friend.There was a long time, i was afraid my old friends to ask me the reason.And ,when she appeared in my sight.I just be ignore.After three years,now i am free when somebody talk about it.Flowing with time is only the way to accept the horrible things which seems hard.And only time will tell me whether it stay in my heart or not.No one have a pure pass,i must always remenber it.And the pass of somebody is treasure.It is what he want to do at that time. Take it easy,it will be okay.Just busy and i will forget all the bad things.